Musings in my mind today

Sometimes I forget that I am engaged.  I forget that over a year ago the man I love decided he wanted to be with me forever.  We already live together like were married so I forget I am engaged.  I don't get giddy at bridal magazines or look around for the perfect colors.  I guess as time has passed we no longer follow the rules.  We don't date, fall in love, get engaged, marry then begin our lives.  These days we get together, live together, buy homes, kinda become engaged then as some point just get married.

I miss the traditions.  As open minded as I am I miss the romantic notion of having a celebrations to celebrate your love with all the people who matter to you.  To let them all know that I am choosing this person to spend my life with.

And yet I am happy in my life.

Its just sometimes I forget I am engaged.

Remembering back to my first moment of being a grown up.

Today I was reading a book titled Lets Bring Back ...it talks about all the things of a bygone era that are missing in our lives right now.  As I reached the M section there is sat on the page...Murphy Bed.  A reminder of my very first apartment away from home.  I was so young and in the daylight I looked at this little place with reverence.  Such freedom.  It had 13 windows in a half moon sorta way since this little studio was part of a old victorian that had been broken up into little living spaces. The closet was deep but only because it had a murphy bed that fell right out of it.  The claw foot tub was deep and lovely.  Now I say in daylight because its important to note that this place was so much more to my young eyes and the freedom it promised.  It was in a poor neighborhood frequented by working girls.  The hallways smelled old and musty.  Paint had been put on layer over layer never sanding down to start new.  As I moved in my Mother was slightly horrified their were roaches and the kitchen was in dyer need of appliances that were newer then the 1950s rejects provided.  The tile in the bathroom was irregular and missing in spots and the sinks undercarriage was fully exposed and rusty.  The vanity mirror was aged and pitted with one solitary bulb that wavered when too many things were plugged in at once.  What should have been carpet was so old and smashed to the floor it resembled a coffee colored felt.
     And yet...I loved it.  For the monthly cost of $230 a month it was Randy and I's first place.  I made little changes that seemed huge at the time.  A found half round table just small enough in the entry way.  Fresh paint in the kitchen with some pillowcases turned into curtains.  An old futon we used as a couch that I lovingly covered with a blanket to make it look more festive and my constant attempt to put fresh flowers in the house so it would feel and smell pretty inside.  I think back now to all the canned chili dinners with saltines and the endless amounts of kool aid we drank because it was all we could afford.  I fondly remember my first case of Oreos I had to have then ate till I was sick to death of them and did not touch one again for 3 years.  How living there was my way of being on my own only appreciating how my mother must have felt being a mother now.  How leaving me in that bug infested dirty environment at the end of moving day must have felt like for her.  Don't worry mom I was smiling and oblivious.

What I did get to do.

The few things I was able to do was attend the Lolita swap meet where I traded some old Kera mags for 2 rings some cupcake jewelry and some lovely head pieces. I even traded some shoes I had for some Blue ones with my pal Rebecca. I love the group pic its has Allison, Rebecca, Bellmouse, Bunnie, and Me. I met the designer of Chantilly and bought some of her awesome socks.

I took my pic with the famous Oogie Boogie and my love. All in all it was fun when I could get away from the work side of things.

The Wigs that made it to Sakuracon

So Sakuracon ended up being alot more work and very little play for me but I did dress up every day. The lavender wig with side bun was my Thursday hair and I thought it looked like a little brain alien was sitting on my noggin which I really loved. The next day on Friday I did the ginger colored wig with my steampunk lolita and got a ton of compliments on it. Saturday was a Goth Lolita day so I went all silver white with a wig and two tails. This was a wig I purchased at con from Arda Wigs who I am now stalking since I love their products. The look very real and fit fantastic the quality was quite amazing. Finally on Sunday for Easter I did a Bittersweet Lolita and wore another new Arda wig I got for just 15 dollars. It was so lovely the Black and Pink split short wig was super cute and looked so real that some of my friends thought I had dyed my own hair. I think parting it and dragging some black over on to the pink really helped with that. All in all I had a blast and every wig worked really good and just keeps me wanting more of them to wear all the time. I did manage another wig from Arda since they were so reasonable and cut me a deal since I bought 4 total (less then 100 for all items with the two extra tails), That I have a fantastic dark blue and black one I plan to wear very soon...I will post pics when I get it styled and trimmed.

New wig heads i painted

Just finished my new dress

I made this dress to wear to a live show of Jay and Silent Bob get old coming up in April and I figured I could even use it to fight crime....I just love it

Two more victims in one day

A table advertisement in a mall and i
Asalted.. Wink wink, a little guy in a lovely little cafe